Like many Nigerians, I believe the Western world is better than my current world, and everything it produced was the best!. Most people had the same notion, which must have been a significant reason for migrating to Canada. When I got my COPR, I was on top of the world, the perfect time to relocate to a land flowing with milk and honey. My assumption is not far from the truth, but every great Country has its peculiar story, wherein Canada is no exception.
Today l will be focusing on my story as an immigrant on my 4th floor with a loving family, a career of choice, a passionate dream I am pursuing, and parenting children in diverse ranges (teenage and toddler). You would be correct to say my hands are full; despite my busy schedule, I try all humanly possible to focus on my primary responsibility, my Family!
My experience as a mother has been phenomenal, especially as a “work in progress,” I admit when I make mistakes, I practice active listening with my children to enable me to navigate them to the right path. Sometimes, I realize my presumed “right path” isn’t right after all….lol. Understanding teenagers requires patience (they are a handful…lol). It is vital to understand their thought process without losing sight of enforcing discipline where needed.
Fast forward to my Canadian story: coming into NB as a professional in IT Service Delivery and Project management field from a globally diverse West African Company, I had plans to continue within the ranks; it took me so much re-training and mentorship to grow within the ranks again; during the learning curves, I understood the impact of relationship building and soft skill which is of higher importance compared to certificate and qualification, better put: “an individual with a great soft skill is an asset to any Organization.”
So much reading went into my quest for knowledge, most notably “understanding the Canadian culture.” With my tacit knowledge, I still experienced cultural shock, which was not as much as you would have imagined; this goes to confirm the saying “knowledge is power.
We, as Africans, are known to be expressive (unfortunately, some Canadian tend to think we are aggressive). At the same time, Canadians are more subtle, which makes it almost impossible to understand when a stern warning is being passed across. A valuable skill is required to discern wisely: active listening; I started by practicing with my teenagers and realized it helped build a relationship with them rather than criticizing them outrightly from the get-go. Another nugget worth sharing is that Nigeria may be said to reward loyalty more than performance in some cases, which explains why we still have older people in power with obsolete ideas. On the contrary, the Canadian culture rewards skills and intellectuals, which demonstrate their slogan: “work smart, not hard,” with so many success stories around the younger generation.
Canada is an accurate confirmation of the word helpmate; it helps build the bond in the Family, and with so much DIY, you have no other option than to collaborate. Most of us women had employed staff helping with some of the house chores to focus on our career and Family without losing it entirely in Naija’s day-to-day stressful situation. At the same time, our husband’s support when available otherwise, they majorly fend for the family needs; I thought I could cope using the same strategy until I burnt out. My husband observed and called me to order, reminding me that we no longer have employees helping me with the chores; hence would be a good idea. I shelve some of the responsibilities to the children, and he would support where necessary; I felt a burden lifted off.
LGBTQ+, Abortion legalization, legalization of Cannabis, gun handling, etc., are some of the cultural differences compared to my home country Nigeria where it is taboo to be a member of the LGBTQ+, only the law enforcement agent or those approved by law can purchase a gun, a relationship is not pronounced until you are of marriageable age, possession or use of Cannabis is illegal, etc. Ask what I feel about all these: ” I would rather know it exist than be ignorant.” Everyone is entitled to their opinion and has the right to choose provided they know the consequences and are willing to live with it!.
Migrating to Canada has taught me that Family is not only those you are related to through blood or birth but those who share the same values and beliefs as you, and you are always comfortable being around. It summarizes my adventure in Canada; I am honored to have friends turn Family despite race, color, and qualifications!
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